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The accidental apprentice.

By Fi or Becs, Nov 15 2016 09:00PM

Chatter from Becs:

Last week Alan Sugar fired me on national TV. I guess there aren’t many people in the UK who are able to say that. The whole experience has been incredible, but the truth is - I applied to The Apprentice on a whim.

Last New Year’s Eve, I was chatting to my brother in law (who is a brain surgeon and would probably be amazing on the show) and in our wine induced wisdom we decided that I would be an excellent candidate on the programme… famous last words. So in January, on the day before the applications closed I casually applied. Four months, three auditions, a screen test, a psychological interview and 40,000 candidates later I was offered a place on the show. Flabbergasted is the word.

I got the call from the production team on a Wednesday afternoon whilst looking after my three-year-old son. My phone rang, I promptly bribed Ollie to stay quiet with a DVD and a packet of Quavers (standard parent tactics) and I danced around the room in excitement and genuine amazement. In the auditions I wasn’t the typical Apprentice buffoon. Rather than spouting insane Trump-esque declarations like “one day the whole world will chant my name” I was smiling sweetly and chirping “I would describe my business style as like a bouncing puppy”. Yet somehow the almighty powers at The Apprentice chose me as one of their final 18 candidates. Wow.

I was chucked out in week six - drat. I didn’t have very good luck, my team lost every single week and my own performance was essentially useless. Not too surprising when in real life I don’t like confrontation, I can’t haggle and I make nerdy jokes to put people at ease… <puts her head in her hands>. But I’ve got to say, I loved it all. Including the people on Twitter comparing me to a plastic spoon or as weak as a kitten with polio. I’m certainly the accidental apprentice candidate for 2016, but at least I managed to leave with what’s been hailed as ‘the best taxi interview ever’ – I’ve got my straight-talking Cumbrian roots to blame for that.

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